Category Archives: Inspirational

FORE!

For about 5 weeks I have started to acquire a small collection of golf balls.  “Why in THE heck are you telling the three of us this” you ask?  This is why- I run a route from my house that I have run for years; it takes me through a golf course and over to a beautiful subdivision that has gorgeous homes, deer, a lake, a playground, geese, beautiful landscaping and-without fail for the last 5 weeks-the path I take to get to the beautiful subdivision has yielded these golf balls to me.  At least I ‘believe’ they are for me.

 

I have run this route for years, as part of my “long” run.  I have never much paid attention to the ‘ground’ or if I did, and happened to see a golf ball, I would just run by it and say, “well oops-someone made a goof with their driver or putter-FORE!” And keep running… until about 5 weeks ago.  You see, this is the heart of triathlon season; my friends and teammates are training and training hard for whatever their “A” race may be; whatever their “goal distance” race may be; or, whatever “this is my first half Ironman” race may be.  I have one friend, the impending Ironman Augusta 70.3 race (this coming September), will be her first half Ironman (Go MD!).  I have done that race twice; and was registered to participate this year-but I bought insurance when I registered for reasons I think all three of you know.

 

“Becky, you are rambling, can you get to your point, please”-you all say.  I am on a different “journey” this triathlon season; I am a Sherpa-helping and aiding my husband in the race of his lifetime.  It closely mimics triathlon in some ways; it starts out open ended-not quite sure how the ‘day’ is going to go, you have a ‘plan’ and a ‘race strategy’ and then you get kicked in the water; next thing you know you have a flat tire on the bike course; next thing you know you are out of fuel on the run, you have “bonked” and “hit the wall” and well, it isn’t going to be the race you had hoped for.

 

Because I don’t have my Razorback Turtle riding spouse and his friend boys to push me hard on the bike this year; because my journey is different this “season” than in years prior; because I choose to view this journey as something that we will persevere no matter what we happen to face with it that comes along – I choose to TRY to make the best out of what I can. I can’t run with my friends anymore; I can’t ride with my peoples; I can’t race much this year but I HAD to shift my focus.  I am not the one that is wheelchair bound, I am not the one who can’t move when they sleep, I am not the one who almost can’t wash their hair anymore, I am not the one that has to think constantly about breathing-just to be able to breathe. I am blessed, I remain grateful and I try to remain thoughtful of the different ‘race’ that Elkstone is enduring.  So, I saw a golf ball on my run 5 weeks ago, picked it up and brought it home to him and told him I had him something and I just KNEW he would love it.  He just looked at me and said, “um, why did you take a golf ball from the course and run with it all the way home?”  I declared, “well, I thought you would like it; I thought of you.”  And he said well thank you, but it is just a golf ball you know.  Materialistically, yes-it is.  Figuratively, when I picked up a bright yellow one on my solo 7-mile run this morning I thought, “if John doesn’t want it-and it IS just a golf ball-I will take it and add to my collection.”  As I journeyed home, about one mile after picking up the fluorescent golf ball, I thought “isn’t that something.  They were just ordinary golf balls until today, around mile 6 of my run.  There they lay, out of bounds, not in the ‘game’ that they want to be in or belong in. Hmmm…”

 

Do you suppose that the ousted golf balls should remain on the grounds close to the road so a car demolish them and render them no longer playable or do you suppose you could pick it up, take it with you, and allow it to start another journey – no telling where the golf ball’s journey will take it?

 

I chose to pick up the golf ball(s).  I choose to think that maybe, just maybe, that golf ball I grabbed and brought home with me today was just not where it belonged; it needed to be begun on a new journey.  I suppose that maybe Becky, since she can’t be on the journey she thought she would be on and ever so clearly is on the journey that HE (the man up above) wants her on, needed to be grabbed and started on a new journey?  Could you imagine what would happen if she was left on the side of the road for to possibly become no longer playable?  No; it’s GAME ON PEOPLES! #Grateful #Blessed #ToHimGoesTheGlory @ALSSucksImagennnnnnn.jpg

 

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Imagine; Stupid Stickers; Enough Already

Sorry to disappoint you that I won’t be busting out the John Lennon song and dance of his ever so popular ‘Imagine’ even though it is amazing.  imagine

As I embark on finding a “new normal” as I am calling it, I find myself flooded with thoughts as I watch this part of my journey unravel and reveal itself to me, piece by piece. Thought processes can be scary, ESPECIALLY if you try to visit mine; Crazy Train!  <insert your singing of Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne -you know you just did it; ha! ♪♪> It amazes me the tangent(s) my thoughts can take.  Today, the trajectory of my thoughts was pretty enlightening and I thought I would share. It started with, “wow, I am tired and it is only noon; usually I am on my A-game with plenty of energy all.day.long!  Well, Becky, ‘training’ can be tiring, duh!  No, you aren’t training for a race-well, uh, maybe you are (?) it just isn’t the ‘normal’ race(s) you are used to training for? Maybe, I kinda see what you are saying BUT STILL, I shouldn’t be this tired.  Could you imagine how hard this would be if I wasn’t in the ‘shape’ I am in?  Geez.  And for that matter, all the people that are ‘sticker on your vehicle haters’ what’s up with that?  Sorry they can’t relate but -don’t hate the player, hate the game.”   Just a brief snippet of a conversation and it’s tangents in my mind-this lasted all of about 2 minutes—I WARNED YOU (!!!) #scary

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^^okay, so maybe that is a bit much?  🙂

This brings me to the topic of endurance athletics and finding your strong.  I love my stickers.  I love my medals.  I love my bibs.  Hence why I have saved every.single.one.  Why?  Because it reminds of where I started and how far I have come; and, each time I look at one/them I instantly remember the good times, the bad times, and the just straight up ugly times.  So, for instance, take my 26.2 sticker on the back of my car.  Friends, at mile 22 I H.U.R.T. (!!!) and didn’t want to go any further; everything hurt; I just wanted to stop and then the internal dialogue starts and says, “just quit, why the hell are you doing this anyway?  And, you paid money to do this.  What made you think you could run 26.2 miles?  Idiot!  Now look at how you feel…UGH!  Just STOP already! It is hot; your stomach hurts; you need water; your feet hurt so bad you just want to take off your shoes and sit down; your stink to the high heavens, you have called your running partner every name in the book aside from her real name (Anne) and for the love of all that is Christmas related you have dried salt on your legs, arms, face and; well, you are a hot mess.  Dumbass.”  AND SO that’s the mental ‘wall’ that you inevitably hit in endurance athletics (at least I hit it-frequently).  The first time it occurs, it is uncharted territory. The second time it occurs, you recognize what it is, but still have to gather the mental fortitude to push through it. So forth and so on…you are ‘training.’

For me, pushing through it is not easy, it is challenging, and takes strength I didn’t know I had until having that strength was my only option/hope for finishing as unscathed as possible-or hell, just finishing period.  You see, you will be scathed-for sure, but the extent of the ‘fallout’ is up to you.  It is during these “dark side times” that I have become stronger than I ever thought I could be.  You have no other choice during the ‘dark side’ to examine your mind, examine your heart, find your ‘want to,’ pull yourself up by the bootstraps and just.take.another.step. This DIRECTLY correlates to how you handle certain situations in your “real life” outside of athletics and for those of you who don’t like my “stupid stickers” I am sorry you feel that way but the next time you see one-thank it for me, would you?  Because the ‘inspiring,’ ‘motivating,’ ‘caring,’ Becky we all know thanks them, immeasurably so.  When everything points to you needing to quit something, but you have the mental fortitude to check yourself, realize that the real reason you are doing this is for, say, ‘the children of St. Jude who don’t have a choice in the hand they are dealt, or the needles they are stuck with daily, or….or,'<insert charity of your choice>, or ‘I do this for me, because I deserve it, and I will finish this,’ (feel free to combine this and bundle this with reason #1 previously mentioned-it’s what I do) then my friends you win-and I’m not talking money.  You win strength.  You win the feeling of accomplishment.  You win the feeling of greatness that no one or nothing can take away from you.  And, you just put another rung on the ladder of your journey up to a better version of you and helped millions of St. Jude patients along the way-ShaZAM!

I’ll see your Stupid Stickers and raise you what I like to call ‘ENOUGH ALREADY!’ We all know I Facebook too much (what?  Me?  GASP!).  Well, this Finding a New Normal has disabled me from doing such; and, I believe this is a blessing. I do sign on these days and see posts like (exaggerating here, because I can) “Really?  Seriously? FML! (I have never and will never like the saying or acronym ‘FML’ by the way) I just had to pull over my car from the middle of the Watermelon 400 race on Sam Cooper Boulevard because a hot air balloon landed right in the middle of MY lane-I AM GOING TO BE LATE FOR WORK PEOPLE; UGH!”  Wow.  That’s all I got.

Imagine you have to be seated or lying down 24 hours a day; Imagine when seated you roll over (because you are in a motorized power wheelchair, now) to turn the light in the bathroom off but you-just now- while trying to do this, realize that your fingers won’t go up far enough to do so-but they did yesterday; Imagine you took a shower and now you can’t dry off half of your body because your arm just won’t let you and won’t go where you brain is telling it to go; Imagine you can’t reach the soup cans in the pantry anymore because they are too deep inside the pantry-so they need to be moved so you can just get out a can of soup; Imagine when you do finally get that can of soup, you can’t reach the bowls anymore-but you can’t stand up to reach those bowls, so…?; Imagine when you can’t drive your car anymore and have to depend on someone else or someTHING else for transportation; Imagine you WERE the athlete with the “Stupid Stickers” on your car and now you can’t swim, bike or run; walk; stand up for long; your mind is sharp as a tack but your body fails you; and, have to be on the ‘dark side’ every.single.day because #ALSsucks and you don’t even get a “Stupid Sticker.” Imagine facing this without God-doable?

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I thank my “Stupid Stickers;” I say “Enough Already;” And, I just CAN’T “Imagine.”  I can empathize.  I can sympathize.  I can be there every step of the way and give 100% of my effort and ability to support Razorback Turtle-there are going to be good days (good runs-yay I hit my pace!); there are going to be bad days (bad runs-I was tired, thirsty, couldn’t hold my pace, couldn’t breathe right, and my stomach hurt) and today was one of those ‘bad runs’ for me as a MNDCG (Motor Neuron Disease Caregiver -my new acronym; for those of you who know me are not shocked-Becky loves her acronyms-ha!). Thanks, “Stupid Stickers,” for allowing me the strength I NEED to meander through my ‘dark sides’ and realize that strength comes in many forms and I realize that it is never just physical-more importantly, it is 90% mental (for me anyway) and because I can meander through this gives me the mental strength to empathize, sympathize, give my best-and live to train another day.  Thanks “Enough Already” posts for keeping things in perspective for me. Thanks be to God for blessing me with another beautiful day on Earth and allowing me to be me.  Amen.

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Can YOU Imagine?

 

 

Wait, What?

My ‘Mom’: “Who would have ever thought this would occur?”

Myself, “I know.”

‘Mom’: “It sounds as if you are following in our foot steps; after your parents died Gary and I kept asking ourselves, ‘what will happen next?’ and then something would happen.  And then Sam was born premature.  And then your grandfather got sick (Alzheimer’s) and then your grandmother got sick (bulbar palsy-the form of ALS that starts in your throat with slurred speech and then travels out to your extremities) and then…”

Me: “I know.”

So, wait; WHAT?

April 2014 around 6 a.m. John comes in my home office and says, “hey, tomorrow morning do you think you can go out and run with me and help me run faster?  I just went out and ran and I feel like I can’t run right; I feel like my brain isn’t talking to my foot.”

January 2016: I have purchased a rear-entry handicap accessible van, we have had extensive home renovations done, a power wheelchair has been obtained, ramps are at each exit/entry of our home and John no longer TRIs, runs, jogs, or walks.  John is currently no longer training; he is enduring ‘his’ “Ironman.”  I was able to get John out with ease (no hurling the manual wheelchair in the back of my Subaru, no difficulty with him transferring from said manual wheelchair to the passenger’s seat in the car), about two weeks ago, to go to the grocery store; the first time he had been to the grocery (freedom! Out of the house!) in about 5 months (EVEN IF if was the Thursday before Snowmagedon 2016 and we were there with the rest of the City of Memphis-ha!). Never mind the fact that I was busy closing up the new “transformer van” as our friends have started to call it and I went to turn to ask him if he was okay, was he had unloaded okay (?), and dude was GONE!  Pulled down EASILY some 8 minute miles in the parking lot of Kroger, and I was ill prepared, not loaded properly and shocked-and had quite a bit of ground to make up to beat him to the door of the store.  I lost.)

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You see, the working diagnosis is motor neuron disease, unspecified.  Motor Neuron Disease (MND) is a mystic disease of which there are approximately 4 types; ALS being one of them.  MND consists of your brain talking to your extremity, but your nerves can’t carry that signal.  So, your brain says “go go go!” And your muscle just sits there, alone, not working…and then creates its own language, and then just wastes away-as it has no leadership anymore.  Want to know more, ask him.  Please understand this is my post and I will not, in any way, minimize or take away from his ‘race.’   I am just the Sherpa.  🙂

So, wait; WHAT?  “They have to be having problems in their marriage, she doesn’t post on FB about him anymore; he doesn’t post on FB anymore.”  “I bet they are divorced.  If not divorced, they have split ways or are having trouble.”  Wait, WHAT?  Social Media and your ‘status’ is the prime indicator something is wrong!  You’re doing it wrong!  Ha!  Oh, and BTW, I am not sure ANYONE has the perfect marriage; I will just leave that right there.

So, wait; WHAT?  So, why are you writing about this, Becky?  Well, I will tell the three of you.  It is important to me to share, within reason, so that whatever I, or we, may be going through, it shows others that with His love, Grace, Mercy, and my Faith -it will always be well with my soul.  And, if one person can derive a feeling of, ‘if they can do this I can do it, too-I can believe, I can endure; no matter what the circumstance,’ then that just enhances the reason(s) I wanted to write about this.

Every one of us has ‘demons;’ trials and tribulations; ‘issues;’ life happenings; sadness; and each of us has their own unique story and history.  For me, I cannot afford to waste any time on the “why is this happening to (me) train.”  I have to put one foot in front of the other, thank God each and every day for the gift of just being here, and try to help those in need,  raise my Little Girl Child, nurture my family, be kind to anyone I meet, and laugh.  Laughing is so important to me.   If I choose to have a 24-7-365 pity party, what good am I to my family?  To my friends?  Toxic. I am toxic.   And that is not what He wants for me; nor what my family and friends deserve and guess what, I DON’T DESERVE IT.  So, I try so hard each and every day to smile and put my best foot forward; for there is Joy in the morning.

morning is gods way of saying

Warrior; when I hear the word ‘Warrior’ I think ‘strength;’ ‘perseverance;’ ‘ability to withstand great trials and tribulations;’ ‘ability to come out on the other side,’ whether Heavenly or Earthly, knowing you fought the good fight, kept the Faith, and you ran the race that God wanted you to run with endurance-for that is what we are called to do.  And, if you did cross the finish line into Heaven-can you IMAGINE the prize that awaits?  I sure can, I pray about it fervently; and await the day that I can be reunited with all of my loved ones.  For now, I will be a Warrior; a ‘Sherpa;’ and as kind and giving as I can be-in each facet of my life; be it ‘Sherpa’ duties, motherly duties, daughterly duties, friendly duties and my own personal training duties.  Fate should be afraid; I am the Storm and I am coming with the Thunder.  😉

fate whispers to the warrior-i am the storm

And on particularly bad days when it is hard; when I wake up at 4 a.m. to work job#1, to swim, to take child to school, to perform ‘Sherpa duties,’ to work job #2, to come home and start job #3 with cooking dinner, and then see to some volunteer things I do (love my TRI team! running community!) and laugh! I remind myself that on these particularly bad days I am still blessed; I am surrounded with some absolutely amazing people in my life and if I woke up able and willing, then BY GOD I am blessed; lucky; and going to give it my best shot for the day.  Will I cry?  Absolutely.  Will I be overwhelmed?  Frequently.  Will I survive?  Hands down.  Will I wake up rinse; and repeat?  Errrrrrday!

So wait; WHAT?  If you have ill will, bad intentions, ulterior motives and offer drama and ’emotional unnecessary roughness’-I can’t be a part to that.  I must keep it simple.  Are we not called to be the best version of us that we can be?  For me, my Joy is in the Lord, my family, my friends and my SENSE OF HUMOR!  Aside from the Big Man Upstairs, it is through laughter and my crazy family and friends where I find significant joy.

So, yeah; THAT’S WHAT.  🙂

Now, where did put my beer?  Cheers!

 

Fear The Turtle

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Speedy Turtle was created by Eling (Queen Speedy Turtle) who is a friend of mine and a Memphis Thunder Racing teammate.

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(Queen Speedy Turtle on the left; myself-Ninja Turtle on the right)

Speedy Turtle was created to document Eling’s triathlon journey.

Speedy Turtle is the epitome of perseverance, courage, strength, and positivism/optimism.

Speedy Turtle didn’t matter how fast she could swim a lap in; what MPH her bike was; or what her minute/mile pace was on the run-it mattered that she got out of the door and did these three disciplines.

Speedy Turtle in 2014 evolved.  I, Ninja Turtle, already knowing Eling of course and love(d) her and the concept, began to realize this needed to be a “thing” and Eling agree and was kind enough to share her concept.  More ‘turtles’ started to come around, all setting out to do the three (one or two was fine, too) disciplines surrounded by like-minded ‘turtles’, good athletes, caring peoples and the will and motivation to push themselves to a new personal achievement for themselves-what a GREAT 2014 we had!  There was/is no room for negativity.  There is ALWAYS room for encouragement.

Speedy Turtle according to myself, Ninja T.(get your popcorn ready):

I was a 40 pound overweight smoker in 2011.  I needed a change.  Triathlon/running and the athletic community I have surrounded myself with has been my key to success.  First goal? ‘Wog’ a 5K.  Second goal? “Wog a half marathon.” Third goal? “Run running races faster that I had previously; even if it was just by one second-push myself harder.” Fourth goal? “Triathlon; sprint.” FAST FORWARD TO PRESENT DAY Current Goal? “PR my upcoming half Ironman race with undeniable faith, courage, effort, strength and perseverance and to give God the Glory!”   You see-for me, there is always a goal.  That is how I stay motivated. Hit one goal; make another.  Rinse; repeat. I am competitive-but with myself.  Sometimes on a fun bike ride with other peoples I will ‘race them’; but I don’t let it consume me. What ‘consumes’ me is each time I step up to the start line I need and want to be the best version of the athlete I can be; and I want to beat the old version of me-even if by 0.01.  If I gave 100% then I set out to do what I needed to do; I hit my goal.  But Becky, you didn’t PR!!?  *eye roll*  Well, actually-each time you have the courage to start something and work hard toward something you ‘PR’ your internal well being; spiritually, emotionally and PHYSICALLY.  My friends, that is a PR. What would have happened if you didn’t even step to the start line?  And, when I finish; did I place?  Nope. Did I win something? Why yes, yes I did-I won the adoration from my fellow ‘turtles’, my family, friends, and MYSELF.  The last word is key; your self.  Did I learn something?  YOU BETCHA! I will train harder, push myself harder and the next time I toe the start line of an event I will try to beat the last version of Becky that toed the start line.  Bam!  I don’t know everything; I learn new things every day and love doing so-but I WILL share what I do know-always. Need help?  Just ask me, please.

Becoming very involved with Speedy Turtles has enabled me to give back, to help encourage, to lift up others and that is food for my soul.  The look on someone’s face when they “get” how to gear their bike up Mt. Monroe.  The look on their face when that gearing worked and they CLIMBED it!   I speak for Queen (Eling) Speedy Turtle when I say this as well-that is what it is all about.  When you can take yourself, and others, help them, push them, encourage them-THEN you are a ‘turtleworthy’ (and I totally just made that word up-don’t try to google it-ha!).

Speedy Turtle 2015-WOW!  We have some exciting things going on!  We have Queen signed up to do her First IRONMAN!!  We have several of us signed up to do a half Ironman; we have several doing their first ever triathlon; we have several just getting comfortable on their bikes; and we will have several that will be new and need help.  I love it when an Ironman can help a Newbie; and then the Newbie turns around and helps the Ironman (like helped the half ironman do Yoga in the parking lot-it’s a thing).  There are no boundaries.  To the person that is doing their first triathlon-that IS their Ironman!! They had the courage to sign up, have committed to this and they will do it. That is the same concept regardless if you are new, seasoned, triathlete, runner, dog walker, speed walker, walker, human being.  You get the picture. And, you ALWAYS help your fellow ‘turtle;’ no one gets left behind to journey alone (unless it is a tempo run and the person prefers to run alone and you don’t want to hear colorful sentence enhancers (ahem)-you are exempt).  And, for GOODNESS SAKE, it doesn’t matter how fast you go-what matters?  You started.  I won’t accept any argument.  You have to believe that for yourself-or fail.  Get consumed in what others think and/or are doing?  You can’t give 100% to yourself; and, ain’t nobody got time for that!

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In order to be the best version of ourselves, as ‘Turtles,’ athletes, friends, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aliens, Felecias, we need to push ourselves.  This year, as we go forward, we will have some changes to our ride group paces-so that we can push one another and give 100%; we will have a “kick off” party (details coming soon) and we truly hope that you always exhibit the spirit of “The Turtle” in all you do.  Impossible?  No.  FEAR the Turtle.

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Speedy Turtle-2015 will be amazing; you just have to want it to be!

Thanks for listening; make sure to tip your bartenders and your waitresses-I’ll be here all night.  🙂

Ninja T.

Rockbottom=Change

Good afternoon, this is your Captain speaking.  I would like to let everyone know that being on a diet stinks, out loud.  We have no other options, right?  Wrong…

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I was watching a documentary with the Hubster two nights ago, Hungry For a Change, on Netflix.

This documentary had speakers in it that were obese at one time in their lives and the information they talk about it so simple and basic it was mind boggling to me. I liked it because they weren’t just “holier than though ‘i’m skinny let me flaunt it’.” Also, I was just having lunch with a friend of mine who also is trying to eat better, exercise, blah blah blah, and she says “I don’t even think about food if I am not on a diet; it is not an issue.  But the moment I tell myself I am going on a diet, my brain becomes obsessed with it!”  Well, because you just set limits on yourself..and you brain knows this.  So, you CHANGE your habits; change the way you view food.

For years I have struggled with my weight; I wasn’t an emotional eater, I just had no self esteem-wasn’t happy where my life was so why eat better, exercise and become a better me if my life stinks right now?  Ain’t nobody got time for that.  Some eat when they are sad, upset, lonely, for comfort, etc.  There are TONS of reasons why.  Food is an addiction as well I believe.

I was a smoker; I started late in life-started at the age of 18 and smoked until 2010~ 20 years give or take.  I LOVED smoking; was addicted and it affected everything I did in life.  When I went somewhere, can I smoke there? Etc..  I got serious about quitting and the only way I could do so was to change everything I did on a daily basis; my WHOLE routine.  It wasn’t so much the nicotine for me as it was the habitual aspect of it; I smoked with coffee in the morning, after meals, while on the phone (outside, in 20 degree temps, so lets get pneumonia, cancer and bronchitis all at once, right?  Go big or go home–der!).  I tell you three all of that to tell you this, going forward in my quest to be a better me I have had to change everything I do on a daily basis and food obviously being one of those things.  I can’t grab the chips I love, the crackers, the handful of Goldfish, eat a half bag of tortilla chips with guacamole dip while I am working at my desk (mindless eating by the way).  Well, I COULD but that wouldn’t be the smart thing to do, for me.  I would immediately feel guilty that I just ingested 700 calories, then feel overwhelmed with the whole process then want to give up and “Well, okay, I will start again next Monday.”   I think I probably started about 125 diets, on Monday.  *meh

After being so put out with myself, having even lower self esteem I HAD to change; I was tired of spinning my wheels and getting nowhere and, in fact, getting a lower self esteem in the process because my internal dialogue was “I am a failure.”  That is sad.  😦

Some of the changes I made, were they the tastiest ones?  Um, no.  Have I learned to like certain things? Yes.  Why Becky WHY IN THE FRESH HELL would you LIKE to eat KALE???  Well, for all the 1,000 reasons it is good for my body; because it makes my skin look healthier and I cannot afford $100.00/month for some “miracle crap skin cream.”  My body NEEDS it.

So, let’s cut to the chase. You have kids, you have a busy lifestyle, you work 12 hours a day, you work 7 on 7 off, you sit on Boards of different auxiliary chapters of various things that interest you and you go from here, to there, and yonder 6 days a week; no rest for the wicked, right?  RIGHT–but; ACE these things, kick their butt WHILE on the go; giving yourself more energy and better self esteem in the process.  You go here and there and yonder but you have time to go back and start watching the first through 5 seasons of Breaking Bad on Netflix?  FOUL.  If you can do that, you can go to the grocery, prep food for the week, and still catch your Netflix.  No, Becky I can’t.  Um, yes, you can, because I do it too…refer to blog #2 “How Do You Fit It All In?”  #noexcuses

Quick grab items:

Baby carrots, celery, cherry tomatoes, individual packets of hummus, whole grain crackers (MY FAVES!- http://www.crunchmaster.com/ppccoupon.aspx?gclid=COfm_tySpLwCFS7xOgodgEIADQ) whole wheat slice of bread, greek yogurt, banana, apple, pear, 24 almonds (counted out and ziploced on a Sunday for your week!!)-the list goes on and on.

I don’t want to hear “I don’t have time.”  YES, you do.  You OWE yourself time.  So MAKE the time.

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If you don’t want it, you won’t do it.  You have to hit rock bottom, like I did, before it truly works. You have to WANT to make the CHANGE.  And, once you give it a shot, feel better, see results, then THAT becomes your “diet.”  I can only say this because I have been there, time and time again, got fed up and now I have promised myself I will never go back to that place, ever. I love myself to much to do that to myself- again.

I would like to share some of my go-to recipes that I use weekly; feel free to use these.  These are Hubster tested and approved; modify them as you like:

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(you can download these pictures, save them and blow them up to fully read the details/recipes)

Things I always try to have on hand to fix if I am in a bind and need something quick; ground turkey for light “taco salad” is what I call it when romaine lettuce, tomatoes, green onion, refried beans or black beans, avocado, 1/4 cup cheddar cheese, salsa, greek yogurt (plain) as my ‘sour cream.” This way the LGC can have a Quesadilla or a soft taco if she doesn’t want the salad.  “EEWWW mom that yogurt is GROSS on there!”  🙂

Crock pot things are awesome as well if you are busy: put chicken in a crock pot cover it in salsa and leave it on low for 8 hours; you can have this on a salad as a “mexican salad” kind of thing; put it in a whole wheat tortilla, possibilities are endless.

  • I made this two nights ago and can’t stop eating it, 1,025 calories in the whole pot and it is WONDERFUL! (~125 calories per serving):

Ingredients

  • 2 cans chicken broth (you may use low-sodium)
  • 3 cups V-8 juice (you can use low-sodium V8 or even tomato juice, homemade or store bought)
  • 2 cans Italian diced tomatoes
  • 1 small onion
  • 2 cloves minced garlic
  • 1 package sliced mushrooms
  • 3 carrots, peeled and sliced
  • 1 zucchini, diced
  • 1 yellow squash, diced
  • 2 cups fresh or frozen green beans
  • 1 can kidney beans, drained and rinsed
  • 3-4 cups shredded cabbage
  • 1 tsp. Italian seasoning
  • Salt and Pepper to taste

Instructions

  • In a large frying pan sprayed with cooking spray, sauté garlic, onions, carrots, and mushrooms for about 5 minutes. In a large crockpot combine sautéed garlic and vegetables with the remaining ingredients. Cook on high for 2-3 hours, or until vegetables are cooked.
  • This makes a large batch of soup. If you would like to freeze portions of it to use later, undercook the vegetables just a little. Pour the soup into freezer Ziplock bags and let as much air out as you can. Lay the bags flat on a cookie sheet and freeze. Once the soup is frozen flat, it is easy to layer in your freezer and won’t take up much room. To thaw, place the bag in the fridge for 24 hours and then reheat.

DISCLAIMER: I not a dietitian nor do I claim to me.  This is what works for myself and my family and I’m hoping it gives you some tips to work with that work well with your lifestyle and family.

Do this for you, you get only 1 body-treat it well; your babies deserve it, your family deserves it, YOU deserve it.  It has taken me so long to figure this out, but I am glad I did.

And I leave you with this thought…

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The Dressing Room Saga

My name is Becky and I don’t like dressing rooms; I didn’t like them when I was at my heaviest weight ever and I don’t like them now. Nope.  Nada.  Never.  Blech!

About 2 weeks ago I was at a fitting for new triathlon team apparel and I am glad I went. I had told hubs “maybe I don’t need to go, I am sure since it is the same maker of our previous apparel the sizes haven’t changed.”  As per my previous post the three of you know that I have struggled with my weight, have extra skin, stretch marks, the whole gambit.  Squeeze all THAT into a spandex TRI suit, or a neoprene wet suit! Ha!  There is a friend of ours on our triathlon team that likes to reference the whole Putting On Your Wet Suit enactment as “trying to squeeze biscuits back in the can.”  This is hilarious.  True.  And while trying to put your wet suit on is guaranteed to spike your heart rate on and make someone ask you if you have fever with these fits?!  Ha!  Spandex is NOT appealing; AT ALL!  Nooooo sirreeeee! But necessary.  Hmpf.

Sooooo, back to the story; I go to this fitting and a few people on my TRI team are there; such very nice people (love my TRI team!). There are items to try on everywhere; the new cycling shorts (hipster style); bathing suit; TRI suits, wind breakers, you NAME it, it is there. I NEED to try on the TRI suit as that is what I intended on ordering as I need a new one for my 70.3 race in May. I am having conversation with fellow TRI teammate (female-beautiful) and another fellow female teammate (also beautiful) walks out and looks STUNNING in her selected outside (sports bra and new cycling shorts).  We talk about the way it feels, possible chafing, etc. and back in she goes. I mention to my teammate “I hope I can wear the same size my current TRI suit is.”  She says “I am SURE you can wear a medium.”  The dressing room becomes available and I finally get in to try the TRI suit on and Good Lord Jesus in Heaven it DOESN’T FIT!!!  COMMENCE DOWNWARD SPIRAL-EVERYONE STAND BACK!!  I believe my EXTERNAL dialogue went something like this (excuse my language) “well this is just bullshi*t!” “I wore a medium last year–NOOOO-not this year obviously.” “All this eating clean crap and core work and…and…and #$&*#$%*&9#$*@9=#&$”  I mean sweating, breathing heavy at this point; “sucking it in” so to speak.  (and, that reminds me, do you suck it in when you step on the scale?  I do….um, WHY?)  and have grown 2 heads that are now spinning out of control.  No amount of sucking it in is going to get me in this suit.  So no, I cannot wear a medium and I am deflated; immediately.

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INTERNAL dialogue, “really, I mean you have run 2 marathons, countless other running races, countless TRIs, a half ironman and you can’t even wear this size suit.  Really Becky.  Really.” I felt inferior (BIG TIME); I felt fat (absolutely!); I can’t wear the hipster shorts this year, why?  Because I can’t wear low rise anything due to excess skin and they are too short (thigh problem areas still); I felt sad.

Crappy internal dialogue + other teammates looking ravishing (yes even in TRI wear) = DISASTER for Becky.  The end product-Becky leaves there mad, angry, upset at herself, feeling inferior, feeling fat and well, dammit, upset.  Don’t EVEN get me started on trying to regular clothes in a dressing room!

I had about a 25 minute drive home which supplied me with much needed self reflection, asking myself WHY I felt the way I felt when I left.  Well, I felt inferior because I want to wear a sports bra and shorts to race in (which will happen-NEVER in this lifetime; nope; NEVER).  I want to be a great athlete like my female teammates.  I want…I want...  (operative word here is WANT, friends).

Hey Becky, dumba$$, why don’t you take a look at what you DO HAVE?!  DAM-MIT! I HATE it when that happens, a 2 x 4 that gets slapped across my face presumably by the Man upstairs.  🙂

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Am I alive?  Yes.  Is my family healthy and okay?  Yes.  Am I being shallow- a RESOUNDING  yes.  Again, dubma$$.

This makes me sad typing this; “I felt sad.”  So stupid if you think about it, honestly.  But yet so viral.  THAT, my friends, is SAD.  Solution?  Be your own hero.  Part of being on your “journey” to a better you is training your mind, too-not just your body.  At the end of the day you have you, your mentality, your dialogue.  LEARN to Be Your Own Hero.

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What happens when you learn to Be Your Own Hero? You get a new ailment “mephobia.”

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One sickness we ALL could live with in my opinion. Train your mind.  Easier said that done and still a work in progress but I strive each day to at least try.  Do you?  No?  Start.

HOW do you fit it all in?

More than once I have been asked “how you fit all of what you do in?”  The answer: “Thought. Action. Perseverance.”

So, maybe, I forgot to mention that I own a business as well.  And, perhaps, I forgot to mention that I sit on the PTA Board of LGC’s (Little Girl Child) school.  And maybe, kinda, I forgot to mention that I have a problem saying NO?  *GAK*

I saw a picture once and it pinged me right in the gut and I thought, “good point.”  Image

Between owning and operating my medical transcription company, PTA board meetings (tonight), dentist appointment (today), grocery shopping (today), trips to the bank, early band practices, calling eyeglass repair places because LGC so graciously SAT ON HER NEW PAIR OF GLASSES (!!!), after school band practices, working concessions at LGC’s school’s basketball games, and finding my sanity with my workouts I just FIT. IT. IN.  It really is that simple.  WHY and HOW do you fit it in Becky?  BECAUSE (!!!) during my workout that is the ONLY time of the day (besides sleep and prayer time) that I DON’T have to be mom, mommy, mama, MOM (!!!!) mother (!!!), wife, business owner, friend, confidant, dog taker outter, dog feeder, bill payer, pantry stocker, dinner preparer-you get the point.  Sound familiar?  I am sure it does! *sigh*

Guess what I get to be during my allotted workout time?  ME!! That’s right, “Dick tell them what they have won!”  Your prize:  A BETTER YOU! “Oh, I am going to regret that workout.” Said NO ONE EVER!

For the first TRI season thus far (this is my 3rd TRI season) I have a coach and we shall call her She Who Must Be Obeyed (SWMBO).  She has these ‘things‘ written on my Piece of Paper to Live By (POPTLB) and sometimes if I can’t fit it ALL in and sometimes…you know what?  I can’t fit if all in.  For instance, today on my POPTLB I had a “run for 60 minutes.”  So yesterday I am thinking, “hmmm…slammed with work for tomorrow, dentist appointment at 9:30 a.m., then grocery, then home to work, then pick up LGC, then back to school for PTA board meeting…improvise.”  So, SWMBO received a 41 minute run today; not a 60 minute run.  I received a 41 minute run, clarity in my mind, fuel to face the day, and everyone in my household will live to fight another day because I have not personally harmed them in any way.  🙂

I TELL YOU ALL OF THAT to tell you this; if it is ONLY TEN MINUTES of your day you can contribute to yourself; GIVE IT TO YOURSELF-you deserve it!  If this means you have to set your alarm clock for 15 minutes earlier than normal, SET THE DAMN THING!  Why?  Because I PROMISE you that you will feel better after you are done.

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Several people I know use their workout time to do a devotional, to pray, to get their thoughts together for the coming hours of the day, the coming week; heck SOME people I know can solve the world’s problems (at least we like to THINK we do) during a workout (myself and my Running Wife, Anne and RBFFs Terri, Julie, etc).  For me, this morning, I had a much needed 4-mile attitude adjustment in the form of a run.  Endorphins that are released during exercise are a wonderful thing.  The calories that you burn during your exercise is a wonderful thing (means you can have more leeway in your daily allowance).

I just received a phone call from a lady I have done fundraising efforts with at LGC’s school and she says “I see all that you do on FB and you are like a woman of STEEL!”

I responded by thanking her for the words; however, women of STEEL do fall down from time to time.  After all, you can only stay strong for so long, right?  Then the matter becomes how long are you going to give yourself to be down?  Like I said, in my world you get 1 day then you have to suck it up, buttercup; and LOOK UP!” 🙂  Just. Take. Another. Step.

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Now, quit slackin’ and MAKE IT HAPPEN (even if 10 minutes is all you can afford!)  For me, I am off to check one of the “to-do” things off of my list for the day.  As a good friend of my Lynell said, ShaZAM!

~B